What's the point?

So I started this blog over a year ago and in the beginning I had a lot to share, but that has changed. I have allowed my laziness to keep me from sharing mon adventures. Perhaps it is because I have none to share. I did lose my bike to a tragic accident where it was broken in two by the force of my riding it. The bike tire started to wobble and I thought I was part of some new dance craze. It came to a point where the bike stopped working at all as the back tire started rubbing up against the frame like some teenager dry humping his mom's best seat cushion. It was a sad day indeed. I guess I will need a new one. Hey if anyone out there reads this. Hi. Oh yeah if you have a bike to sell or giveaway away drop me a line.

Later

Down the road, is where I'll always be

Hey what's happening? The Bearded Backpacker has been on a worldwide tour trying to get the best stories possible to present to my friends and fans. Well since I spoke to you all last I was recovering from the Senators bow out and the return to Cowtown from Ottawa. I realize with the delay between posts that this blog may essentially have become internet litter, but I hope some of you take the time to come back and enjoy. So what have I been doing this last couple of months you ask. Nothing.

Well that's not entirely true. The annual festival that is the Calgary Stampede came and went with not a lot of fan fair except a spectacular crash during the second last day of the chuck wagon races. The highlight of this year's stampede for me was the day I picked up a hitchhiker. I saw this guy looking quite distraught waving his arms hoping someone would give him a lift. I thought why the hell not. He wanted to go to the Shamrock Hotel and I did not know where this place was and drove him around a bit and took him to 7-Eleven. I learned little about this guy other than he was from Montreal and had only been in Calgary for six months. I figure this was my good deed and in the spirit of Stampede I thought why the hell not? I lived so that was a bonus. Still the fun didn't end with that little adventure.

I made it on TV during the last two months. Of course it was a short 5 second clip on CBC Newsworld while they previewed the Second City Next Comedy Legend thing. I may have mentioned it before and how I insulted Joe Flaherty. It rocked. Anyway you could got to the show's website and see a clip of me singing and dancing. It was my impression of Michigan J. Frog. I was glorious.

Everybody do the Michigan Rag
Everybody likes the Michigan Rag
Every Mame and Jane and Ruth
From Weehawken to Duluth
Slide, ride, glide the Michigan
Stomp, romp, pomp the Michigan
Jump, clump, pump the Michigan Rag
That lovin' rag!

The more I think of it, the happier I am that I insulted Flaherty without knowing. I love that he and Elvira Kurt were chosen as the judges. Them and that JK Simmons lookalike. What the heck does Flaherty know about funny anymore. Other than a pity part what does he get anymore and Kurt, well Pop Cultured just popped out. I know I'm not funny, I accept that. They should learn from me. He He.

What else have done. Nothing. I did play in an exciting ball tournament and the Scared Hitless crew had an awesome season that was full of good times. We won once and loss 20. We also tied one. Excellent. We had a successful tournament where we won the first three games before losing in the final. Oh well, maybe next year. I think I have shared enough for now. Oh wait I saw Superbad last night. I loved it. Check it out, but prepared for a proliferation of penis jokes. I'm just saying.

Later All

Disco Disco Duck

So I have finally recovered from the devastation of the Ottawa Senators losing to the Anaheim Ducks in the Stanley Cup finals. What a horrible outcome. However I did get to enjoy some of the excitement of the finals when I was in Ottawa. I was there for the Sens lone win of the series. It was pretty darn exciting to be running through downtown Ottawa high fiving everyone I saw and chose to share my high five with. The Sens Mile may not compare to the Red Mile in Calgary or the excitement and stabbings of Whyte Avenue in Edmonton, but still the times were good. I did my best to make things a little more risque along the Sens Mile with a cheer of Shirts off for Volchenkov. However I really didn't say it loud enough because I really didn't want to be the pervert that starts that type of situation. Damn catholic upbringing making me guilty once again. All in all the adventures in Ottawa were still good.

I really enjoyed the opportunity I had to hang with the BIC and Mo and the rest of that crew. It may have been sad though that I spent some of my time in Ottawa hanging at the old office. Well I reckon those folks there are cool and it was fun to drop by the old stomping grounds. I did have a bit of a weird sensation during my stay in Ottawa. Almost everyone I know back there is living in a new place and quite honestly I could have been anywhere because I was in so many unfamiliar surroundings. I guess it was cool. I mean I lived in Ottawa for 13 years; there is not much of that city I haven't seen so it was good to get some fresh looks.

While I was in Capital City I had a chance to catch a couple of films. 'Knocked Up' and "Pirates of the Caribbean 3.' Both films provided some great entertainment and I was happy watching them with my friends. Friends are important. I was real happy like seeing the old gang. Once again I invite them to come visit me out here in the West. It would do them good.

Before I go I have to say thanks to John Muckler for helping the Senators get to the Stanley Cup. Maybe some of the signings and trades he made were not always well received, but he did get the Senators to the final and if the Sens had played to their potential they may have had a chance to win. So with his firing I wish him good luck and once again much thanks. Now lets hope Bryan Murray continues his successful GM record with the Sens. Cool.

Later

Its Been a Long Time

So the Stanley Cup playoffs are starting wind down and the Senators are in the hole. Down 2 games to none the series is shifting back to Capital City and yours truly will be there to take in all that Sens City has to offer. The tension surrounding the playoffs has kept me from keeping up to date on this whole blog thing. If any of you are still out there reading I apologize. Why should you be loyal when I haven't. But this new adventure promises to supply some interesting stories. When the Senators even the series there will be great celebration and I will be there to cover it. So please come back. I will return a lot sooner than before. Coolio

Later

On the Road Again

The Bearded Backpacker here writing you live from Northwestern Ontario on the big lake they call Gitche Gumee. The lake it is said never gives up its dead when the skies of November turn gloomy. Thank you Gordon Lightfoot. Yes its true I have embarked on another road trip and this time I am meeting up with the folks in lovely Thunder Bay, Ontario. Oh what a place the Lakehead is. We are enjoying some warm, but windy weather in the centre of Canada. So yeah I am here to both celebrate my birthday and see my family. I am having a good time.

I guess its a bit better than what I did last weekend where I went out and embarrassed myself by doing some karaoke. Who whee was that a blast singing songs I really don't know the words to or the tune. Still I sang a bunch of songs with my work buddy Kelli. We sang stuff like American Pie, Cover of the Rolling Stone and Take Chance on Me by Abba. I was really hoping that I would have a chance to do my version of Britney Spears' Oops I did it Again, but alas they did not have that particular disk. I call BS.

Hey you should all know that you can look forward to reading about a second year of Softball highlights. That's right I'm going out to play for a second year and I hope the adventures of Scared Hitless provide some happier endings. Well that's all for now.

Later

Where Have You gone Joe Dimaggio?

The Bearded Backpacker has finally returned. I have been lost in the wilderness that is Facebook. This networking website has been dominating most of my online time and the online time of the people I know. Work even takes a back seat when you see a message from one of your friends on Facebook. Its been great catching up with a lot of people from all different stages of my life. There are the kids from elementary school, junior high, high school, university and college. There are even some people I have worked with in there. Anyway the site is a wee bit popular now. There are tonnes of people on there from nobodies to celebrities to dead celebrities. Fun fun fun.

I guess another reason I have been kind of lazy with the writing is because of the start of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. The Ottawa Senators were taking on the upstart Pittsburgh Penguins and the phenom Sidney Crosby. The Sens played a strong series and are on to the second round where they must face the New Jersey Devils. Meanwhile out here in Calgary the Flames are getting another early summer after losing out in the first round to the Detroit Red Wings. If it wasn't for the super Finn, Miikka Kiprusoff, who had to face over 250 shots during the series, it could have been a lot worse. The Flames road whoas came back to haunt them in this series as they showed almost no effort in the games played at the Joe Louis Arena. What will happen to the Flames now? Well there are some people who want the coach fired and half the team traded, but lets calm down a little. The Flames were a decent team this year, but in no way should they have been expected to beat Detroit. Of course there were tonnes of problems with this team all year when it came to its inability to win on the road. Anyway I think this team will be a lot better next year and should be making another trip to the Stanley Cup, if history repeats itself. The first time Calgary went to the Cup and lost they had to wait another three season before they got back there. So I'm counting on that. I am excluding the strike year because there was no season played. Make sense? Go Flames and Go Sens.

I really have nothing else to say at this time, but please continue to enjoy Facebook and the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Later.

I Come From a Land of Ice and Snow

Hey so its been awhile. I know, I know, what is the point of having a blog if you never write anything. That's just who I am and plus I have been busy. Really its true. The best part is I may have insulted a comedy legend. Cool.

So since the last time I was here I have made a complete ass of myself on a few occasions. A couple weeks ago I decided I would do something I never really feel comfortable about, performing in front of a crowd. You see I signed up to try out for the CBC Second City Next Comedy Legend reality type program they are doing. The tryouts were taking place in four cities across Canada and Calgary was one of them. A guy I work with was going so I said hell why not? It would prove to be a great and nerve racking experience.

We arrived at the Cowboys night club at around 8AM. The infamous Cowboys is known for its artificially endowed waitresses and cheap drinks. Today it would be known for comically endowed judges and cheap laughs, ha ha. We stood in line waiting for our turn to perform for around two hours. There was the bonus of meeting former WWE Diva Trish Stratus. She actually held my hand a bit after I told her I was feeling nervous. After I did that my body went out of control and I actually lost sensation in my baby fingers. It was weird. I think I may have suffered a tiny stroke. I don't know if I was really that nervous or I made myself go further out of control then planned. Anyway I met Trish, the day need no other excitement and it had none. Well at least until it was my turn to perform.

The audition required that people come up with three different characters. I think I had some decent ideas, but in reality I'm the only character worth doing and I should have just gone up there as myself, but no I tried the three characters and since I'm not a performer things did not work out that great. I forgot what i wanted to say and my focus was out the window. Oh well that's life. The best part though was I got to insult Joe Flaherty. Before we did our audition we filled out a sheet explaining why we were auditioning. I said it was to meet Eugene Levy, not knowing that Flaherty was one of the judges. Well I was asked why I wanted to meet Eugene Levy and if I was disappointed that I had to settle for Joe. I said that I still loved Joe, but Eugene has just been out there more. You know having a career. Okay so I didn't say the last part, but I might as well have.

So I did not get a call back, but hell it was fun and at least I tried it and conquered my fears a bit. I will have to fin another outlet for my comedic genius. How will I accomplish this? e will just have to wait and see.

Later

Rocky Mounty High

Hey there loyal readers of this blog o' mine. The visit by Emilie to Calgary continues. Some of you may remember that I promised the first person to visit me in Calgary a free night at a resort in Canmore, Alberta. Well the obvious recipient of this fabulous prize was my friend Emilie. So the adventures continue and we are on our way to Canmore and the Rocky Mountains. We took off early Tuesday morning to get to the hotel, check in and check out the room. The place wasn't half bad, but some of the excitement was quelled by the fact that this was the NHL trade deadline day. The biggest news was Ryan Smyth being traded from the Edmonton Oilers to the New York Islanders, but Emilie didn't care. After enjoying the hotel and some trade deadline highlights for a bit we were back on the road and making our way to Lake Louise, Alberta. You readers of the blog may remember me and my folks checking out Lake Louise in the summer.



It is pretty cool in the summer because of how green the water is, but snow capped mountains are still pretty darn impressive. The only problem is that you have to actually get their to enjoy them. On the way to Lake Louise, Em and I got to talking about the way french appears on signs and how the translations seem a bit too complicated. Well while reading the sign for the turn off to Lake Louise I actually missed the turn off, but I did not realize this, and a few short minutes it said we were in Yoho National Park. That was a bit unusual considering that Lake Louise is in Banff National Park. Soon after the Yoho sign we were being welcomed to BC. So unintentionally I have now been to 9 of Canada's 10 provinces with only Newfoundland being the odd man out. Anyway we only spent a few minutes in BC before turning around and going to Lake Louise. It was good time. After we had our fill of Lake Louise we headed back down the highway and made a stop in Banff where we toured some of the gift shops and took in the experience of a mountain town. So we had a good time seeing the Rockies and it would only get better the next day.
After enjoying a complimentary buffet style breakfast at the Chateau Canmore I was convinced by Emilie that going on a hike in the wilds of the Rocky Mountains would some how be a good idea. Em was overly excited by the prospect of just walking into the mountains and didn't seem to have any worries about the type of wildlife we may encounter. I have to say that the hike was pretty cool and despite the 10 or 12 falls we took during the adventure it was still a good time. You see we went on the Grotto Canyon hike.It took us along a frozen river up into the mountains. Now if we knew what we were doing we may have actually went and got the proper spikes sandals to make the walk along the ice easier, but where is the challenge in that. No instead we went just with the shoes we had and it made for some exciting times. I think Em went down at least 8 times during the hike, but there were no serious injuries. I had a couple of falls myself and luckily no injuries. The best part of the hike is how it just didn't want to end. If I didn't become a curmudgeon and complain about going on I think we may still be walking. Sure the map said the trail ended, but I doubt it. We saw some cool rock formations, but did not get to see the rock paintings we attracted by, but I know Emilie definitely enjoyed the experience. Still I don't know if this was the highlight of her trip.

Thursday would be the last full day that Emilie would be in Calgary so I thought we should check out the zoo. That place can really smell at times, but that spoil our fun. Like any zoo visit we saw animals and enjoyed their antics. This zoo visit though would have an added bonus. The zoo was about the shut down for the day and we were seeing the last of the animals when the camel trainer asked us if we wanted a closer look. We moved in and were allowed to feed some nuggets to the pair of female two humps. The trainer then asked if we wanted a kiss. Oh not from her, from the camels. Although it could have made one of fantasies to make out with a camel trainer come true. Anyway no we got kissed by camels. Can you believe it? Anyway that was it the trip of Emilie. Em would leave the next day and I couldn't believe how quick everything went. Thanks for visiting Emilie. I really enjoyed your company and hope you can visit again. Hey bring some friends.

Well that was the adventures with Emilie. I know I keep promising the adventure of Bingi ja Ryanii and the ferocious Karhu, but something even more amazing happened to me recently. I was able to meet a WWE diva and insult a Canadian Comedy legend all in one day. So stay tuned as I go on a quest for the next comedy legend.


Later

Come Fly With Me

As you wait to hear about Bingi ja Ryanni and the ferocious Karhu there is another tale that must be told. That of Ryanni ja Emilie and their adventures in the Sandstone City.
Yes, mon ami Emilie made a visit out west to see her old friend, The Bearded Backpacker. What fun we had in such a short time. We travelled to Edmonton and back and then took our road trip west to Banff and Lake Louise and where we even had a chance to stop in British Columbia for a touch. Wow. It was a whirlwind week that just never seemed to stop.

Em arrived in Calgary on February 24th, if my math is right. She arrived in the afternoon and we took it easy that first day because we were heading for West Edmonton Mall bright and early the next morning. We had to visit the world's first largest mall in the world. It would seem to be a waste to come all the way to Alberta and allow a mere three hour drive keep you from visiting the Mecca of commercialism. So we went there and checked out the great expanse of retail space and checked out some weird peg throwing tournament and even had a chance to catch the seal show. The seals were quite entertaining with their dance moves, dives and their friend the penguin. Good wholesome family fun. We hit a few stores, but window shopping was more the order of the day for us. We spent 6 hours in a mall and only had a couple pair of shoes to show for it. Alas it was a grand ole time. The trip home though would be where the real adventure would begin.

In between Edmonton and Calgary there is a small city known as Red Deer. Home to the world's biggest teapot or at least that's their claim. It is at this teapot that you will find Glenn's Restaurant. Now Glenn's has 150 varieties of teas from all over the world ready to serve and purchase. So Em and I stood around smelling tea for awhile and then bought some and then took time to sample Glenn's cuisine and more of their tea. A super happy fun time was had. I think the worst part was when we walked out of Glenn's to find that it was snowing and hard. That would make the next hour of driving quite fun. The highway between RD and Cowtown is quite open so there are many wind gusts and combined with the snow, it made for one heck of a drive. Headlights on low or high were of no use and the only reason I knew where I was going is that the road is quite straight and I could see the tail lights of the car in front of me. The winds also put a little slick on the roads and it was fun as the car swayed back and forth. I had to pretend that everything was fine so that Em wouldn't go into some sort of shock, but luckily we returned to my place without incident. Terrific.

So that was the trip to West Edmonton. Anyone else who happens to visit me out here in the west will have a similar opportunity. Does this entice you? No? Well maybe a professional sports game will sweetin' the deal. I thought so. So yeah that's day 1 and 2. As I enjoy some of the White tea I bought during the stop in Red Deer I am reminded about the day after West Ed where we would see the Calgary Flames actually win a game.

White tea is supposed to be good for you. Even better than Green Tea. So on February 26th I would show Em some of the sights in Calgary, such as the local Ikea. Its a top tourist attraction. We also saw some back roads of Calgary and a taste of the local hobo population. The highlight though would be taking Em to her first NHL game in person. I had fun, the Flames scored a bunch and we were toasted by the Enmax flame everytime the good guys scored. I don't recall the final score, but I am sure the Flames put up 5 and I even scored a free program. Wow it was one of my best hockey going experiences ever. Did Em have? I dunno? Em did you enjoy the hockey game? I think she was looking forward to the Rockies. Camore, Banff, Lake Louise and Yoho National Park are coming up so enjoy this read and I promise to continue the story shortly.

The Ballad of Bingie ja Ryanni

The following is the story of a boy and his dog, as played by his uncle’s dog Bingo. Its been a long time since we could hang out with that orange fur ball. Bingo has been gone almost 20 years now and still the memories remain. Bingo was the greatest dog any Suomilainen poika could have the pleasure of being friends with. Maybe he wasn’t technically my dog, but I sure did hang out with him a lot and still miss the good times we had together.

Old McDonald had a dog and Bingo was his name-o. Yes that children’s song may or may not have been the inspiration for Bingo’s name, but I really don’t know. You see Bingo wasn’t always a part of my family. He started his life in less than ideal conditions. As a puppy he was taken home by a terrible family who had no respect or concern for the well-being of this excitable chap. Being unprepared for the responsibility of a dog this family was easily annoyed by the untrained pups wild antics. They treated him very poorly and even once sprayed him with the hose in the middle of winter. The old saying that there are no bad dogs only bad owners could not be anymore true than in the story of Bingo. His original owners were so fed up with Bingo and his impish ways that they were ready to put him to sleep. Fortunately my uncle would step in to save the day and give this rusty coloured mutt the love he needed.

My uncle may have saved Bingo from certain doom, but I think my mumu has to be given credit for making him the well-behaved dog we all know and love. I just can’t imagine my grandmother putting up with any garbage from this dog. Bingo always knew his place in mumu’s home. He never went places he didn’t belong and listened to every command without question. I may have not learned how to speak Finn, but I definitely did know ulos or out. All mumu had to say was ulos and he was out, no questioned asked. He knew who was in charge and he respected her. It could also be that he just loved getting out.

My grandparents lived outside of the city in a very little developed area and there was nothing but stretches of land for him to run on and get into trouble. Bingo loved to fight and loved the ladies and that skamp would go running through the fields meeting up with all sorts of characters along the way. As is the case with any free-range dog he had his run-ins with skunks and other dogs and is likely to have children out there, but despite all this he was still probably the most behaved dog I have ever known.

So this is just an introduction to Bingo or as I remember him, Bingie (Bing-guy, guy as in lafleur). Mumu and her finiss accent led to this variation and I like it. So that’s Bingie for you. He has had my back on a number of occasions and there is not much more I can do to repay him but share his story. I would like to start by telling you the story of ‘Bingie ja Ryanni and the Ferocious Karhu.’ Enjoy.

'Bingie ja Ryanni and the Ferocious Karhu’ will be coming soon, but there may be a little detour to follow the adventures of me and mon ami Emilie. My first Ottawa visitor. We sure had fun, or did we? Stick around to find out.

Later

Take The Long Way Home

What a wonderful time it has been. It has only been more than 5 weeks since I returned from my trip to Florida. I have made promises to you that Day 7 would be well worth the wait. I lied, Day 7 was nothing special. It was January 13th and I was set to take off from Fort Myers Airport at 12PM. That gave me enough time to hit the outlet mall one more time. I picked up a faboulous deal of 5 boxers for 20 dollars. Awesome. I needed to replenish my stock of underwear items.

With new boxers in tow it was on to the airport. When I arrived the security threat was still high and my plane was delayed by one hour. That gave me a chance to check out the airport Chili's. I had only seen Chili's in commercials and movies so this was quite the treat. We enjoyed some massive burgers and my sister continued her desperate need to completely burn out her insides with only the hottest of hot sauces. I don't think she has any feeling left in her tongue. Lunch was good even if it wasn't world famous Grouper Sandwich.

So I said my good byes to Aliss and Drew and it was off to security. You know, with the terror alert being high and all, it was pretty darn easy getting through security. There was little wait and people were polite. The fun times wouldn't come until we actually boarded the plane. It had seemed as though everyone had been put on the plane and we were ready to go until we found out that two people who had checked their luggage had not got on the plane. Now why would you check your luggage and then leave the airport? Unless they were terrorists, hmm. Anyway we had to wait around an hour as they went though the cargo hold looking for the luggage. By the way, after an hour of sitting on a plane without movement you can get a bit annoyed. Still when we finally took off it was cool to find out that we could watch a choice of free movies, some that were not even on DVD yet through out personal view screens on the back of the seat in front of us. I watched 'The Departed' and 'Open Season.'

So I had to go to Toronto to make my connection to Calgary. I maybe should have mentioned that I was wearing my shorts as I flew into a snow dusted Calgary. Maybe it was just me, but people looked at me like I was some kind of weirdo, but it was fun. So I arrived back and was wishing I could just spend a few more days in the sun.

So my journey to Florida was a a great time! I think I have dragged this story out as long as possible. Your welcome.


HEY KIDS! L. Wickenheiser here to tell you about a great new series that will be gracing the pages of the the Bearded Backpacker blog. I want to invite you to tag along as we follow the adventures of a boy and his friend. 'Bingee ja Ryanni' will follow the finn fueled adventures of a Suomilainen Poika and his orange haired koira. Yes, 'Bingie ja Ryanni' teams together the best dog and boy duo since Lassie and Timmy. So I hope you can come around and share the adventures. 'Bingee ja Ryanni and the Ferocious Karhu' will be coming to this space real soon so look for it.

Later

We All Shine On

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I guess the 7th day of Florida can wait one more day so I can say Happy Valentine's Day to all the players and ladies out there. My friend Amanda asked me to write more because she is bored and this is her only source of entertainment. I'm happy to oblige. Hi Amanda. you asked me whether there is any commercial holiday that doesn't include chocolate? The answer is no.

So I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's Day and that they don't eat too much chocolate. ☻

Later

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Baby its Cold Outside

Calgary has been getting a bit of the winter this past week. It has snowed for 7 days straight in this town. Calgary has had 5 times the snow of an average February and we are only halfway through the month. With this cold weather and the arrival of Valentine's Day I am reminded of how lonely I am and therefore I must write a blog entry. The cold is making me pine for the sweet sun and surf of southwest Florida. So why don't we return to my adventures in the Florida everglades.
So what day are we on now. I haven't written anything in awhile and its been a month since I returned from my time in F-L-A. I do know what ever day it was we were going for a fan boat ride, but first let me tell you about Marco Island. So it was Day 5 of the quest, the quest for fun. We checked out a massive beach in Marco Island. It was quite large and littered with bits of broken shell. We were only allowed to take used shell, live ones were strictly verboten.
We did little at the beach, but walk along it and maybe tip toe through the water. It was pretty cool though the resorts along the beach and the water of the Gulf of Mexico. Walking through the water left some lovely salt stains on my shorts, but it was all in good fun. The trip to the beach was short though because the real reason we were in Marco Island was to try the world famous Grouper sandwich of the Snook Inn.
The Snook Inn was a friendly place situated on the mouth of one of the canals leading to the rich and famous types living in the area. Famous is the operative word here when you go to the Snook Inn. I believe every one of the items on the menu at this place was world famous. This included everything from the Grouper sandwich we had come for to the salad bar you got with it. I think their tap water was even world famous, but maybe not for the right reasons. My question is there anyone out there reading this blog who has ever heard of the Snook Inn? I want to know. Anyway the sandwich was good and the grouper fish is delicious. The salad bar was darn good with giant sour dill pickles and pickled mushrooms that made the trip too healthy eating well worth it. So maybe the Snook Inn is not as world famous as it claims, but I would definitely recommend if you are ever in Marco Island that you check it out. With are appetites satiated it was now time for us to move on to Everglade City and the opportunity to be face to face with a gator.

Take me down to the Everglade City where the gators are plenty and the streets are empty, ohhhhhhh take me home. Who wants to go on a fan boat ride? I do! Your bearded tour guide has always been interested in the fan boat. I have always seen it movies and on fishing shows and it just looks like a good time. I remember seeing Matt Dillon gliding along the everglades in a fan boat in the 1998 John McNaughton classic 'Wild Things.' The scene may have had nothing to do with the narrative, but it sure made me envious of Dillon's lifestyle. Just imagine spending your Sunday flying around the swamp on an aluminum hull with a giant fan blowing behind you. Intriguing isn't it? Our fan boat ride may not have been as glorious as I have witnessed in the movies, but dang it if it wasn't a heck of a time. Our trip took us along a system of creeks and canals through the thick marsh of the glade. We met a very friendly raccoon during our trip who was quite fond of dog biscuits. He wasn't as large as the raccoons you may be use to seeing and he did not seem to be as annoying either. He was cute. We also saw many different birds and the pelicans were so crazy they came and perched on the front of our boat.
Oh yeah we also saw some gators. Apparently during the winter the water in the glades is more salty and this is not desirable to the alligator so we didn't have too many run ins with them during the boat ride. The two we did see were pretty sedate and didn't seem to even take notice of our presence. Trying to pet them though may have been a bad idea. Anyway the gators our pretty cool. The fan boat ride was a lot of fun and again chef recommends.
So day 5 was the most active of my week in Southwestern Florida. In contrast day 6 was probably the laziest of my days in Florida. Most of the day was spent by the pool and then we went out for some of Canada's best ribs at Michelbob's. I miss wearing shorts and sandals everyday.
Well that's it for now. You pretty much know how day 6 went for me so next time I'm skipping ahead to Day 7 and the trip home. It is worth the wait. Later.

When the Levee Breaks

So I promised more details about the quest to Florida for sun and fun, but I felt the need to give a shout out to my good friend, Jimmy James. Dude totally gave me props in his own adventure page; Vis Comica. He usually likes to talk about serious things, well more than I do anyway, so it was nice to feel his praise. He has gotten lazy though in his old age. His last post he goes and puts an email from our other brother in Christ, Paq24, the Squirrel. He seems to be disappointed in Paul's lack of an online journal. You see the problem is that Paul is not a lonely guy.

A new book by University of Calgary Political Studies professor Michael Keren called 'Blogosphere: The New Political Arena' looks at the growth of blogs. The author was interviewed on The World Tonight with Rob Breakenridge on Calgary's CHQR radio station. During his interview he described bloggers as lonely people. Now since I did not read his book or really listen to the interview I can't say if he meant anyone with a blog or only those who have politically themed blogs. No matter, the gauntlet has been thrown. Bloggers around the world let it be known that you all have lives and tonnes of friends. Some of us must have friends right. Anyway, good times.

So you see Paul is too busy with his family to share his political views, inane theories or stream of consciousness. Damn I envy that guy. Well not really. So Paul its time you started writing out your thoughts. You have a wit a young Macauley Culkin would envy.

Hey by the way I would like to say congratulations to the Indianapolis Colts. They did it. Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning can finally call themselves champions. Although I though Manning may have been the least enthused super bowl winning
quarterback I have ever seen in my life. If they still do those; 'I'm going to Disneyland', commercials after the game, I think this year it may actually lead to a drop in visitors for Walt Disney World and Disneyland. Maybe Manning is just an android and has not the ability to show emotion. I thought I may have seen Rick Deckard out there rushing the quarterback for the Chicago Bears. Blade runner has skills. Anyway we will continue the Florida trip next time. I'm delaying the story because I just wanted to extend my memories of fun in the sun now that Calgary is getting some snow.

Later

The Good Ole Hockey game

And on the fourth day there was hockey. Going to Florida this January gave me a chance to check out the phenom that is Sidney Crosby. This is probably one of the pluses of NHL expansion into the southern United States. Now die hard hockey fans like myself can enjoy some sun while watching their favourite sport. I have to admit that watching hockey in Florida is a little different than the games I have seen in Winnipeg, Minnesota, Ottawa or Calgary. There is a different type of fan at a Florida Panthers Game, but then there isn't. I think I heard as much French being spoken at the Bank Atlantic Center as I had at any game I attended at the Corel Center/Scotiabank Place. Apparently the location of the Panthers arena is very near where many of the French Canadians go during the winter months. Still this experience had its differences

The crowd wasn't too great at the game. There were a lot of empty seats and many of the fans just didn't seem to get into the game. Of course it doesn't help when you have one of the worst teams in the league, but the Pittsburgh Penguins and the league's best player were in town. There was a lot excitement around the Penguins ice during the warm ups as kids pressed themselves against the glass hoping to get the attention of Sid the Kid. It could be a good sign for hockey in Florida if there are kids like this who are excited about the game. Again they could have just been the grand kids of all the Quebecois wintering in Sunrise. So there was all this excitement about the Penguins during the pre-game, too bad they couldn't give something to the fans.


The game was dominated by the Panthers as captain and finlander Olli Jokinen scored a hat trick pacing the Panthers to a 5-2 victory. The Penguins looked sluggish out there, having played the night before. Crosby was held pointless and was less than I hoped for. I have had that experience when watching other superstars. Mario Lemieux may have had one assist the first time I saw him play. Teemu Selanne on the other hand was pretty good when I saw him play for the Winnipeg jets. Maybe I just have the luck of seeing great performances by Finns when going to NHL games. So despite the Panthers being dominant, I just never got the impression that anyone was really that excited. The guy who set off the goal horn even seemed to be a little out of it. The highlight of the game was listening to these young girls screaming at the top of their lungs every time the noise meter came up on the scoreboard. Ear piercing noise at its best.


So the game may have been a bit of a bust, but having a chance to watch NHL hockey in SoFla was still pretty fun. I'd go again. So Day 4 was a little slow, but things are about to pick up. On Day 5 me and the gang are going for a fan boat ride, with a possible gator sighting and world famous food. Stay tuned more to come on this and more as the road trip to the everglades continues.


Later

There aint enough going on down here

So I hope you have taken in the first couple days of Florida. Day three was a little more laid back. We didn't too much. We had to go to the airport to drop off Drew's dad and then it was off to the outlet mall. Some interesting about the airport though was the sign on the road to the airport that advised everyone about the current threat level. It was high. Anyway it was fun going to the outlet mall and finding so many awesome deals. Although not everything seemed like a deal. If you went to the Lacoste store, you know the clothes that have the alligator on them, or is it a crocodile? Anyway, you could have got a 70 percent discount and it would still cost over 50 dollars for a polo shirt. Still many fun deals. I just wish I was staying 7 days instead of 6 and I could have spent an extra 550 dollars. Damn you lousy duties.

So it was a slow day of hitting the malls and eating more of the fish we caught the day before. Did I tell you I went fishing and we were playing tricks on the dolphins. Well not really. I wanted to mention this last time, but we caught a fish and the dolphins started creeping closer and so we thought we would try to lure them to the boat so we could get a better picture, but they were too smart for that. The jerks wouldn't even put their heads fully out the water, they would just barely break the water with their blow hole. Here is the best shots I could get. I know its sad.

So I guess the highlight of day three was when we went down to the beach to check out the sunset. Now we didn't get to enjoy a true clear sky sunset, but I thought the clouds were really cool and may have made the sunset even more interesting. The beach was really nice and had the classic long pier. There were folks fishing and then gutting their fish on the pier, there were some guys trying to surf, but the waves weren't big enough and there was us. We were on a quest. It was no longer a vacation, we were on a celebrity hunt.

The rumour is that the great American filmmaker Steven Spielberg has a place on this beach in Naples, Florida. So we went on a bit of a trek and arrived in front of what may or may not have been the home of the man behind such films as Jaws, Raiders of the Lost Ark and Duel. I noticed a small white dog running around in the yard of the house. Was it Steven Spielberg's dog? Maybe. I saw Steven Spielberg's dog. Wow. So close to celebrity once again.
Anyway it was nice to take it easy and do some shopping. Lots of fun. Plus I wanted to save my energy to do what everyone goes to Florida to do. Watch NHL hockey. Coming up next we head across state along Alligator Alley to Sunrise, Florida to check out the Florida Panthers. Yee haw.

Adios

I'm a gonna fishin 'cause everybody's fishing, And I'm a gonna fishing too

So when I arrived in Florida I was informed by my sister and her boyfriend that we would be going fishing the next day. I have to admit that I was not the most excited person when I heard this. You see I haven't really fished in about 20 years. I use to go out with my Pa and uncle Erkki and it was a lot of fun, but I guess I wasn't as in to fishing as most Finlanders. Plus I think I got tired of being the bartender during these little trips. But don't get me wrong they were some great memories that I wouldn't trade for anything. However, it is really my sis Aliss who's the real fisherman in the family. I remember her getting a lot of fishing gear at Christmas when we were kids and she and our old man went out fishing quite a bit. So because my sister was looking forward to this opportunity I wasn't going to complain. I mean I am on vacation right? Who knows it could be fun.

I think I got a little more excited about the fishing trip when I was told we would be fishing on a pontoon or party boat. I thought this was great because it would mean a lot more space. I really wasn't looking forward to being crammed into to aluminum boat, but this was completely different. We met up with out lead fisher and captain, Joe.
He was a really great guy and a terrific person to go fishing with. So we loaded up the boat and made our way to the launch. Getting in the boat was easy and I had a comfortable chair so things were already going in the right direction. It wouldn't be too long before the trip was all worth it.

So we made our way out into the Gulf of Mexico and I was impressed with the really nice homes on the water, but we were there for fishing dang it. Focus. Yes fishin'. So like I said I haven't fished in maybe 20 years and when I did we used worms or minnows. This time the bait was a little more fun. We got to use live shrimp. Those buggers were fun to hook because they liked to squirm and jump around a bit. So I hooked my shrimp and dropped it in the water.

So we were trolling and that meant I didn't really have to concentrate too much on the fishing. We were sitting around when we noticed some dolphins gathering around our boat. I decided I wanted to get a picture and stood up leaving the fishing rod between my legs. So I was standing looking to get a shot of the dolphin when all of sudden there is a tug on my line. The line just kept going out and out and out. I had a fish. I couldn't believe it. First time fishing in almost 20 years and I've already got a bite. So I put the camera down and grabbed the rod and started reeling it in. I don't remember how tough it was, but it did take awhile because so much line had been let out and there was a bit of a fight in the fish of course. So I did eventually reel the bad boy in and Holy Mackerel, had a fish to be proud of, a mackerel. Awesome.

Anyway I was pretty happy with myself and could have gone back to shore satisfied with the day of fishing, but I guess the others wanted to catch some fish too. Drew would soon catch his own mackerel and the gang would catch a lot of lady fish. They would give a good fight, but not good for eating, too many bones. So we didn't have too many keepers. We decided to stop trolling and set anchor and eat lunch and do some stationary fishing. That's when the Queen fisherknow as my sister took over. While I was having trouble casting she started depleting the local fish stock. I swear she would bring one fish out, rebait her hook and by the time her cast hit the water another fish was on her line. I think she may have caught as many as 7 fish in less than half an hour. I was a bit jealous, but I mean she knows what she's doing. On the plus side they weren't mackerel, they were a smaller, less attractive fish, so I had that on her. Anyway I bow to Alissa's greatness.

After Aliss drained the cove we were in we went back to trolling and I was able to catch a few more fish. One was a blue fish, which we were able to keep. So I had a great day fishing, lots of fun. I see why people love fishing so much in Florida. In the end I think we brought in about 15 fish in total. We fried them up and they were delicious. What a great day.
So I may not have been all gung-ho to fish, but I'm really glad we did. It rocked. I would love to do it again. So there you have it, salt water fishing from Southwest Florida. Hope you had fun. Coming up, we hit the outlet malls and see what Stephen Spielberg does for fun. So stay tuned as the adventures continue.

Later

It will never snow in Florida

So the adventure to Southwest Florida began on Saturday January 7, 2007. I flew on Air Canada and my journey started at the Calgary International Airport. My flight took off around 7AM and headed for Toronto. On the flight I was able to watch the latest Kevin Costner film, 'The Guardian.' Why does it seem like every film Costner has made since Dances with Wolves runs for ever and always reaches a point where you think to yourself: 'That is an acceptable way to end the film, it must be over.' Yet the film continues on for another half hour. Maybe its just me. Anyway that was not the highlight of the trip. That would come in Toronto.

I was kind of stressing during my flight because I wanted to take two bags on as carry on just so I would be sure to have everything I wanted when I arrived in Florida. However the bags were about the same size and Air Canada says we are only allowed one carry on luggage item, plus a personal item like a briefcase. Luckily I was able to get both on the ole plane in Calgary, but when we arrived in Toronto I had all the same worries again. That would be the least of my troubles though . As I was flying to Toronto I realized that I forgot to find out the address of where I was staying in Florida from my sister. Add to this that I had yet to receive my new passport before departure and you had the cocktail for trouble from U.S. Customs and Immigration and Homeland Security or whatever else they call themselves. I tried to get the address before going through customs and called my parents hoping they knew something, but no luck, plus we couldn't get a hold of my sister, who was already in Florida. Anyway I knew the town I was going to and so took my chances going through customs hoping I would not be tackled or face a strip search. Fun. Anyway while I was waiting in line to face scrutiny there was some plainclothes RCMP hovering around the man in front of me. This guys eventually gets a pass to the front of the line after a few conversations with airport security. That's when I realize that it is former New Brunswick premier and Canadian Ambassador to the U.S. Frank McKenna. Wow, I was this close to greatness. Anyway that was the fun part. The lecture was coming.

So when I get to the Customs Agent I am asked for my passport and declaration. I say I don't have my passport yet and he is completely shocked. 'what do you mean you don't have your passport?' Then he looks at my declaration form and sees I have only listed Naples, Florida as my destination and is not happy that I don't know the exact address. My explanation that I was meeting my sister and her boyfriend was also not satisfactory. So he stamped something on my declaration card and I was given a piece of paper explaining I needed a passport to fly into the U.S. Of course that would not be for another 2 weeks. Relax eh. Of course I did not feel the need to have my ass kicked by a group of airport or custom officials. I was going on holiday. So holding back the sarcasm I made it through and everything was savvy. On the other side I also noticed another so-so celebrity. Carl Lindros. Whoo hoo.


So the rest of my travel day was uneventful. My plane was a bit delayed because of a head wind. But I arrived at the Fort Myers Airport where my sister was waiting to greet me. We headed for Naples, which was a half hour south , and the Walmart Supercenter to get our salt water fish licenses. That's right people. We're going fishing. So that's the story so far. Day two of Florida takes me to the Gulf of Mexico. Aren't you excited, I know I wasn't, but that all changed once we hit the water. . Stay tuned for more adventures of the Bearded Backpacker, sans beard, in Florida.

Later

Cletus went down to Florida

Hi everybody. Sorry I have been so delinquent in sharing my tales with you, but I have been soaking up the rays in Florida the past week. That's right, I was in the Sunshine State checking out a few adventures to add to the catalogue. I will simply whet your appetite with a preview right now. I think its only right to set things up because I have a lot adventures to share with you.During my stay in Southwest Florida I hit some outlet malls, went fishing, checked out a super Walmart, took a fan boat ride, swam in the pool, went to the beach, ate a lot of fish, taunted some dolphins and marveled at the gators. It was a fun filled week. I had a chance to hang out with my little sis, Aliss, her boyfriend and his folks. It was great fun. Oh yeah, we also crossed the great state of Florida through Alligator Alley to go and see Sid the Kid and the Pittsburgh Penguins face off against the Florida Panthers. Anyway, that's just a teaser and the full sorted details of the Bearded Backpacker's romp through the everglades are soon to come. While I have your attention: Has anyone ever heard a really good song that includes Florida in some way? None come to mind for me at this moment. Alright. Have a great day. Later